Since I’m spending some quality time stuck in an airport this afternoon, I’ve had a while to ponder this unique form of security theater and come up with a new form of movie-plot terror threat which, if attempted, would probably take passenger inconvenience to a new level.

It’s simple–ninjas. Cold-blooded assassins who need nothing but their sock feet (no shoe bombs here!) and bare hands to take down a plane. A video could be released onto the ‘Net of these trained suicide killers practicing punching out the windows of old airliners to depressurize the cabin.

The only “solution” would be to handcuff all passengers for the duration of the flight, of course.

Just a thought.

Any self-respecting ninja assassin can pick the lock on handcuffs with nothing more than a broken toenail…

Not that explosive decompression would bring down an airplane anyway, any more than the liqui-bombers’ “binary explosive” made out of hand cream and shampoo or whatever it was would have.

Aloha Air Flight 243, anyone?

Personally, I think I’m just a small wheel in RyanAir’s long-term plan to have passengers stand during flights (sorry, no link), even if you have to do it while trussed up like Hannibal Lecter on his transport dolly.