I am joining the ranks of the pre-mature retirees via the route of the RIF which seems to be a common place to stand these days. Lots of people in little rooms having hushed discussions, sad faces, quiet fears, slumped shoulders.. I am sure that the cure is the exit interview on the last day, but since I have the malady I do not know what the end is like. As far as the cause; well I have theories but, will leave that to the economists of the world and the thieves.

I am told that there are multiple symptoms of the RIF..tire Pandemic and they vary in each case. There is crying, fear, hate, anger, depression, sadness, joy, relief. I am surprised that there is little violence; and hopeful that we do not progress to that.

Out of the recovery comes another wave of emotions and the need to channel yourself into something good: exercise, volunteer, hug your wife, listen to music, walk in the woods. Then plan your budget, change jobs into a job hunter/gatherer/creator.

For me a time to write grants, plan a couple of iPhone applications, take more classes towards a degree that I want. Read “What Color is Your Parachute” again. Write a new resume, hit the pavement of the internet and job search world.

After almost two decades of walking the same road, the new one is hard to see in the mist. The cure is next friday; wish me luck.

-bob

I forgot to point everyone to Cory Doctorow’s essay in Harvard Business Review, “The High Priests of IT — And the Heretics,” but it should be mandatory reading for anyone who manages or deals with the IT group in a corporate environment.

The dirty secret of corporate IT is that its primary mission is to serve yesterday’s technology needs, even if that means strangling tomorrow’s technology solutions. The myth of corporate IT is that it alone possesses the wisdom to decide which technologies will allow the workers on the front line to work better, faster and smarter — albeit with the occasional lackluster requirements-gathering process, if you’re lucky.

The fact is that the most dreadful violators of corporate policy — the ones getting that critical file to a supplier using Gmail because the corporate mail won’t allow the attachment, the ones using IM to contact a vacationing colleague to find out how to handle a sticky situation, the incorrigible Twitterer who wants to sign up all his colleagues as followers through the work day — are also the most enthusiastic users of technology, the ones most apt to come up with the next out-of-left-field efficiency for the firm.

Like I quoted from Barry Schwartz’s TED Talk, “Rules prevent disaster, but what they guarantee is mediocrity.”

The enterprise need to change how it provides services to the desktop.  What services do the users really need from us and how can we continue to provide them?

Internet/Intranet Web Services

More and more of the services we use are based on the big bad Internet standard W3C.  The enterprise needs to deliver these services with out proprietary tools that limit what computing systems they can be run on.    see: http://www.anybrowser.org/campaign/.  Oh and maybe we should start moving some of this out of our costly data centers and on to systems like Amazon EC2.

Email

The Internet community has developed email standards that serve millions of accounts.  IMAP/POP and SMTP deliver email to client computers with lowest cost and in the most effective manner.  The time when an enterprise can afford to supply email from internal system has left us.  Tools such as Gmail/Postini or Zimbra can deliver email without the need for any infrastructure or staff.  Just move the MX record folks.

Calendaring

Calendaring is an interesting problem.  The enterprise seems to think that Notes or Exchange can deliver the goods, yet neither of these can deliver free/busy to the extended family that is our supply chain.  Since standards such as CalDev are not deployed, we have to fall back to something like Salesforce.com and Google Calendar or Zimbra to fix this now.

Instant Messaging

Instant Messaging is both the bane and the boon for end users, we hate it but we have to have it.  What works out in the real world: XMPP / Jabber.  You can put your own in and link out or just use what is out there depending on your needs and fears.

Desktop applications such as word processing, data management, etc..

The desktop software industry would make you think that you have to run Windows so that you can have the applications you need.  While I am a bit of a Mac fan boy mostly due to a bit of ego and the enjoyment of fine hardware the software that Apple supplies fills the needs of many many individuals.  The only issue for Mac in the 2009 enterprise is the fact that we have to run on the existing hardware that we cannot afford.  While there are some who  actually need Microsoft Office as well as some who need Photoshop, the vast majority do not.  Open Office is the great wedge we have to fill this gap.  Open Office is also a big stick and being a large software package it needs significant support.  Systems like Google Docs are now good enough for most work and the collaboration tools they provide go way beyond anything commercially available.

File storage

There are two major needs for file storage: First is for end users to keep stuff around for others and to share.  Second is for backup of local data.  While it is a grand vision to keep all of your data in the Cloud with Google Docs, Dropbox, or Backpack; users will make files and want to manage and keep them.  The enterprise must provide services to manage that data.

Computing to support the above items

As you can see from the above list of services the actual desktop does not really matter that much.  If it supports a standards based browser such as Firefox, an email client like Thunderbird and some sort of networking you are in the the pink.  Today the key is the cost of ownership and what you need to support that desktop are where you get hit!  What do we really need to do in the enterprise, Count-em, Authenticate-em, Update-em. We have to stay away from targeted solutions that limit the OS we are using.  Looking at the existing hardware in the enterprise we are limited to something that is x86 based.  In the final analysis Linux is the right tool for the time.  You need very little to be a Linux shop:  LDAP, SYSLOG, maybe SAMBA, and wine for the needy.  For now, no viruses, no spyware, etc.; how much money and time does that save?

Pull down Ubuntu 8.10 and install it!  Start a project to really save money in your enterprise!  The savings here are real as are the productivity gains, the improved user satisfaction, and complexity reduction.  Overcoming the inertia and thinking differently about your services is hard.  The morass of legislation along with corporate governance rules may scare some off of this but simplifying your environment and freeing up resources to improve the speed of the enterprise is the goal here.

If you do this please help by contributing resources to the community.  It pays you back instantly!

- Bob

The space planner was sniffing around this morning, getting ready (I suspect) to downsize my cube from a Double wide (8′ by 14′) to the New Standard Configuration (I rate an 8′ by 8′ although many will not be so lucky and will find themselves in either 6′ by 6′ or 6′ by 8′ boxes).

Throw in the fact that it features prominently in my blog’s name, and it seems somehow fitting that this article about the history of the cubicle should show up on CNN today.

Reviled by workers, demonized by designers, disowned by its very creator, it still claims the largest share of office furniture sales–$3 billion or so a year–and has outlived every “office of the future” meant to replace it. It is the Fidel Castro of office furniture.

…

That’s when Propst’s original vision began to fade. “They kept shrinking the Action Office until it became a cubicle,” says Schwartz, now 80. As Steelcase, Knoll, and Haworth brought their versions to market, they figured out that what businesses wanted wasn’t to give employees a holistic experience. The customers wanted a cheap way to pack workers in.

Propst’s workstations were designed to be flexible, but in practice they were seldom altered or moved at all. Lined up in identical rows, they became the dystopian world that three academics described as “bright satanic offices” in a 1998 book, Workplaces of the Future.

Designer Douglas Ball, for instance, remembers the first installation of cubicles he created for a Canadian company in 1972. “I thought I’d be excited, but I came out depressed,” says Ball, now 70. “It was Dilbertville. I’d failed to visualize what it would look like when there were so many of them.”

Right now, I sit toward the edge of a giant cubicle sea. I know exactly what it looks like when there are “so many of them.” We have to identify our location by pillar numbers.

Of course, once my cube gets downgraded, I may have to change the blog’s name to something more appropriate, like “Sucks like only a cubicle can” or something.

I’m also wondering where they think everyone is going to park. The lot is already full with the current population density. This building was originally built as a data center and was never supposed to be filled with people.

Actually, I’m often torn if the worst cube I ever had was the one that wasn’t really a cube, just a surface on the outside of a “real” cube at the end of a hallway or the one that was 8′x4′6″ so I could only get in and out by swiveling the chair to face the aisle. The seats may have sucked but the jobs were a lot of fun.

I heard something about this on NPR this morning, but it was pretty useless.

Adam Shostack, however, has a much more useful and link-o-rific post, “Mobile Phones, Modernity, and Stress”, which discusses a study examining the stress of being constantly available by cell phone and pager.

The round-the-clock availability that cell phones and pagers have brought to people’s lives may be taking a toll on family life, a new study suggests.

The study, which followed more than 1,300 adults over 2 years, found that those who consistently used a mobile phone or pager throughout the study period were more likely to report negative “spillover” between work and home life — and, in turn, less satisfaction with their family life.

The researcher’s suggestion?

To ease the extra burden on working mothers, she added, parents could have particular days when one or the other is “on call,” so that moms are not getting all of the appliance-disaster reports.

Great, I’m thinking, another on-call or coverage list I’ve got to be on.

I already have various on-call rotations that I somehow fit into–so many that I don’t even know what any of them are. Why security approvals need on-call, I will never know. Throw in that I’m usually covering for someone on something, the around-the-clock demands of working for a globalized conference, and it’s a wonder I ever leave work at all. Or maybe that’s why I’m so stressed these days. *sigh*

Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for my after-hours call with Asia.

In the course of yet another day in the trenches, I wrote the following sentence:

Applications or platforms which are End-Of-Life or otherwise unmaintainable for security purposes

Which Word2003 was kind enough to auto-correct as:

Applications or platforms which are End-Of-Life or otherwise unmentionable for security purposes

Even Word wants to ignore risk.

Since people keep asking me about this (three different times just yesterday) and since it’s gotten a fair amount of mainstream press coverage, I’m going to take a few moments to lay out my former-insider-view/personal thoughts on the match.com lawsuit accusing them of using “date bait” to keep subscribers paying longer.

From the AP Story in USA Today:

A recent lawsuit against Match.com charged the matchmaking service with sending a female employee out on a date with a male subscriber as “date bait” to keep him signed up. Another lawsuit against a personals service offered by Yahoo Inc. accused the Internet portal giant of creating fake profiles to entice subscribers.

Match.com denied the allegations and obtained an affidavit from the woman in question, who declared she never worked for the company. Yahoo refused to comment.

In the Match.com lawsuit, filed Nov. 10 in U.S. District Court in Los Angeles, plaintiff Matthew Evans made the “date bait” allegation against Autumn Marzec. He also accused the site of using fake profiles and sham e-mail “winks” from potential matches to keep him subscribed. Match.com, which claims more than 15 million members, offers a basic subscription for $29.99 a month.

Marzec said in a signed affidavit that she has never been employed by Match.com or its parent company, InterActive Corp., and has not worked for them as a contractor. On Monday, Match.com demanded that Evans dismiss the lawsuit, which it called a “totally baseless attack.”

Personally, I strongly suspect the lawsuit is utterly without merit. Match and Yahoo Personals are targeted because they are successful companies with deep pockets whom the plaintiff assumed would pay him to go away before reputational damage set it.

I worked for Match.com for almost 2 1/2 years as their Information Security Manager. I have also compared thoughts on this with other former employees who would also have been well-positioned to know about anything like this going on.

(more…)

This is the sort of thing that has been sucking up all my mental energy of late. Attending meetings with subjects like

Clarification of funds that are NOT available for this year and NOT in the budget for next year.

Wish me luck.

As Mish points out, some analysts think that laying off 14,500 people is A Real Morale Booster:

“They’ve gotten themselves in fighting shape here,” said Caris & Co. analyst Mark Stahlman, adding that it dispels uncertainty, which had been frustrating for some in HP’s engineering culture. “I think this is going to give a big boost to morale internally,” he said.

Yeah, nothing dispels uncertainty like a bullet to the head, either, but

Of course, Mish follows with some more relevant thoughts, including this:

Enquiring minds might be asking some of the following questions:

1. When was the last time firing 14,500 people boosted morale?
2. Would firing 20,000 have boosted morale even more?
3. Is there a “Laffer Curve” on firing people to boost morale?

Excuse me for a moment, but I feel a rant coming on…yup…there it goes.

Unfortunately, I’ve had more experience with the morale boosting effects of layoffs than I’d really care to, and while I’ve only been on the receiving end once (My boss had to end my laying off before we were “finished” because it had run into his time to go get laid off and we were all supposed to be On A Schedule), I’ve had to both do the hatchet work and preside over trying to secure all the physical and intellectual property during and after the festivities. Nothing about it boosted morale. Nothing. Let me say that one more time in case I was unclear: Nothing.

In fact, I can’t think of much worse that I’ve had to do in my career than having to be the corporate Grim Reaper, descending on people’s cubes ferry them to HR’s Land of the Dead. I used to come home after those sorts of days physically and emotionally wrecked, usually not knowing if my name was on some list I just hadn’t seen yet and they were just waiting for me to finish sweeping out all of the lesser staff before they did me.

For months and even years after the fact, people were jumpy, paranoid and defensive. All the really good employees decided that the best way to avoid the risk of a layoff was to proactively go on a job hunt and succeed. Most of the rest would at least try, meaning that by the time layoffs were finished, most of the really bad ones were gone but pretty much everyone you wanted to keep had probably left of their own accord.

About the only reason that this might not happen to HP is that so many profesionals are already out of work that without a direct personal point-of-contact, it’s hard even get an interview much less actually find a job. Which means that job searching needs to be a full-time endeavor. Which means that no one at HP is going to be keeping the lights on. Think about that, then tell me how much those R&D workers are going to get done with no one thinking about seting up, paying for or administering their offices and computers.

If Mark Stahlman actually believes what he said, then he’s so far out of touch with reality that he probably shouldn’t be allowed to analyze what color socks to put on in the morning, much less be paid for his analysis.

Thank you. I feel better now.

Chris Walsh originally found and posted this image:

I can tell he’s my kind of security guy because he read the article on Employees being the biggest threat first.